I went out today for the first time since…March? Not that I was super social before the pandemic, but it was a shock to the system.
So many feelings involved with being around other humans. So much gossiping. So many looks that need interpreting. So much second guessing what I say, do or wear.
I realized how comfortable I had gotten sitting at home basically in my own little world. Complaining about being stuck, but really very comfortable and safe. I mean, I know my cats judge me, but eventually they are snuggled on my lap. When I hear someone’s snarky comment about another person in the group, of course I wonder…what do they say about me?
This doesn’t sum up all social interactions, of course. But when you get a group of girls together for some reason I feel on edge and on the defense. With a smile, of course, to make sure no one knows how self conscious I feel.
It’s not like all women are terrible–that’s the conclusion I see some books and tv shows draw. It’s just how we have been conditioned to interact with each other.
I wonder if I can use some of these feelings and conversations for the story? I could exaggerate things so it’s more dramatic and make it be the ladies at the farm who Beth is trying to socialize with…somewhat unsuccessfully.
Continuing Story #1; Beth meets some of the women in the town:
Beth got out of her car and straightened her dress. It was a light, casual summery dress; gray with pink flowers. Something she didn’t usually wear, but she didn’t really know what the dress code was for a “wine night” in Crystal Lake.
It turned out she wasn’t wearing the right thing at all. All the other ladies were far more casual in jean shorts and t-shirts. Beth took off her sparkly sandals and set them alongside a row of sneakers. She had painted her toes so she could wear the sandals, but they now seemed too much for the setting. Whoever said that it was better to be overdressed than underdressed had never walked into a room of unfamiliar ladies who clearly were not impressed with the “city girl.”
She set down the cheese tray she had bought from the local Pick-N-Things and surveyed all the homemade goods–brownies, taco salad drenched in ranch, some kind of fruit salad…and my cheese cubes. Another thing Beth didn’t get quite right.
She spotted Anna Nelson, her fifth grade teaching partner. Anna’s eyes lit up and waved Beth over. Relief spread over Beth to see a friendly face. She could feel her jaw unclenching and a genuine smile finding her lips. Anna was wearing the undisclosed uniform of jean shorts and t-shirt while Beth was very aware of her pretty dress and painted toes as she made her way towards Anna. Still, she had a person at the party. She wasn’t alone in a sea of catty women anymore.
All of my writing kind of feels like an outline, if that makes sense. Sometimes I don’t like the words that I’m writing, but I like the idea. The plot and story is coming together, but I still feel like I need to go back and make things more interesting. It’s almost like most of what I’ve written is a parody of what the real story is going to be. (<-more bad grammar; I love ending sentences with a preposition, at.)
Since I finished Misery (holy crap the ending), I started listening to The Hunger Games series. I had forgotten how compelling the story was. I found myself crying real tears within the first chapter of the book. Now how do I do that? How do I get someone to be so attached to a character’s story that they get emotional?
I guess I need to practice more! I’m hoping I keep making time for it with school right around the corner.
Update on my July Writing Goal: 7.2k out of 10k words
